


Oh look how the colors are changing

by heykingly



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Mild Hurt/Comfort, This is some found family shit, Yasha-centric (Critical Role)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29200278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heykingly/pseuds/heykingly
Summary: In the midst of Eiselcross, Yasha finally allows herself a moment to revel in the feeling of falling in love again.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 5
Kudos: 114





	Oh look how the colors are changing

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything in a loong time, but was way too inspired for this and it definitely wouldn't leave me alone until I sat down and wrote it. I love these disaster lesbians and I love Yasha so much, she deserves good things only, let my girl be happy. 
> 
> Inspired by the absolutely beautiful art created by @doodlematte on Twitter, link [here](https://twitter.com/doodlematte/status/1348262003966693384/photo/1), go check it out, this image has lived in my head rent free since I saw it, hope I did it justice!

Stupid Eiselcross and its stupid giant ice wolves, was the thought that was going through Yasha’s head as she found herself pinned beneath one such beast, teeth in her forearm and a deep annoyance taking hold of her face. They were supposed to be making progress, trekking away, trying to stop the end of the world, but it seems like every stupid day they’re plagued with either bad weather or some new, crazy encounter. 

From somewhere over to her left she hears Caleb cry out, but is quickly followed by Beau’s voice yelling, “Hey, bad dog! Drop that wizard! You don’t know where he’s been!” and then the sound of several thwacks and a dog’s whine.

Honestly, this was their second fight of the day and Yasha was getting pretty sick and tired of it. Especially as the wolf still gripping her arm in its jaws snarled and shifted, causing a sharp _‘pop’_ in her shoulder and a quick shout of pain she couldn’t quite keep behind her lips. 

“Hang on Yasha!” she heard just before a giant serrated lollipop appeared above the wolf’s back, slamming down with a sickening spray of blood and sparkles. The blow was at least enough for the wolf to release her arm and snap back at the floating piece of candy, giving Yasha her moment. 

Yasha grunted at the release of her arm and tightened her grip on Magician’s Judge, using all the momentum she could afford from pulling herself up from her prone position, she swung the heavy blade down to where the thick of the wolf’s neck met its shoulder. It barely had time to let out a strangled yelp before Yasha yanked the sword free and hacked down with better aim for her second attack, cleaving down through the animal’s throat where it finally fell at her feet. 

As the blood pounding in her ears finally began to fade with her rage, she could hear that the sounds of battle were over. She let out a long exhale to center herself before turning to sweep her eyes over the rest of her group.

Yasha might have been embarrassed how her eyes instinctively sought out the sight of their monk first, that is, before she was met with a pair of blue eyes already watching her. Still, Yasha couldn’t quite help the light blush that filled her cheeks and the warmth in her chest as their eyes met. Beau gives her a small smile and a clumsy wave from across the field, before she turns and hoists a bloody wizard back up to his feet. 

Her view of the Empire kids is blocked suddenly by a blue face filling her vision and saying, “Oh my gosh, Yasha, that was so cool how you cut that wolf down! We make such a great team! Oh man, your arm though. Do you need some healing?? I think I have a little bit left…” And before Yasha can even get a word in edgewise, Jester is laying her hand on top of hers. A warm, green glow emanates out which seals some of the nastier teeth marks and then another pop in her shoulder has Yasha gritting her teeth, then breathing a small sigh of relief. 

“Thank you, Jester.” Yasha says with a smile as the tiefling flashes her a wide grin and a “Of course! I _am_ a healer, after all.” Tossed over her shoulder before hopping off in the direction of Fjord, who is staring at the new holes and rips in his coat with a frown. A small laugh escapes Yasha without hesitation as she watches Jester fret around him, casting mending on even the tiniest holes for him while Veth begins to reenact an epic shot she made that apparently saved Fjord’s life. 

Just as she begins to hear Fjord start grumbling about how _‘come on that is not at all what happened Veth, I had it perfectly handled!’_ , Yasha reaches to put Magician’s Judge on her back and feels a burning pain in her shoulder. She can’t hide the wince on her face, but she secures the sword anyways, pushing through and just hoping no one noticed. Jester’s heal got the dislocated joint back in place, it would just hurt for a while, nothing the barbarian couldn’t handle and no reason to waste an extra spell. 

“Is your shoulder bothering you?” The rough voice of Beau was soft as she suddenly seemed to appear by Yasha’s side, eyes darting to check her for potential unseen injuries. Yasha blinked a couple of times and could almost blame the quickening of her heart on being startled, but only almost. 

Of course Beau noticed. Beau is always noticing. 

“Oh, it’s uh, it’s alright,” Yasha tried to move it a little to demonstrate but stopped when Beau gently took her elbow with an intent gaze, “Jester healed most of it, really. I’m fine. Just a little sore, that’s all, no big deal.” 

Beau furrowed her brow, “Yeah, but what if we get into another fight today and your sword swinging arm is all hurt, and then you miss or get hit or some shit?” The hand not still lightly holding onto Yasha’s elbow was gesticulating wildly like she could better convey her concern with action.

“It’s almost evening already, I doubt we’ll get into a third fight today.” Yasha answered, Beau’s worry over something so small threatening to fill her whole chest with magical butterflies. 

“Would be our luck.” Was the only gruff reply she got, but she could see the argument slowly fading from Beau’s eyes, even as she was still looking down at Yasha’s arm, her fingers lightly tapping on her elbow absentmindedly.

“Really, Beau, it’s okay. I can fight fine like this, no need to waste a spell that we might need later, it’s not bad.” Beau’s eyes pulled up to meet her gaze at that, so Yasha quickly added on, “I promise. I’m okay, really.”

She could hear Beau grumble something under her breath that sounded an awful lot like, “Wouldn’t be a waste.” But then Beau’s hand was drifting away from her elbow. 

Yasha felt herself immediately miss its presence there, which was silly. 

The background sound of Fjord and Veth still arguing seemed to slowly fade back in when their silence stretched for a second. Yasha glanced back over to see Veth pointing emphatically at Fjord while shouting about how if it weren’t for her, he’d have been wolf chow and so on, as Jester and Caleb watch on with fond expressions. Her eyes catch sight of Caduceus then, standing slightly to the side of the argument and looking intrigued. 

However, he’s not staring towards Veth and Fjord, Cad was watching her and Beau with a calm and pleasant smile on his face. Yasha averts her gaze, but not before she sees him turn back to the main group with what looks like a secretive twinkle in his eye.

There is a shuffling in front of her now, and she turns back to see Beau in the midst of unwrapping the cobalt blue sash from around her waist. 

“Here, bend down a little.” Beau’s words are quiet as she takes the sash and helps guide Yasha’s hurt arm into a comfortable position against her chest before securing it in place with the sash. Yasha doesn’t even think to protest and just leans down a bit so that Beau can reach her arms up and around her neck to tie the sash in place. Up close Yasha can easily see the many faded scars on the other girl’s face, as well as pink flush spreading over her cheeks. As Beau finishes the knot and then steps back, her eyes drift up, meeting Yasha’s for a second before looking away, a small smile on her face. 

“Thank you, Beau. That’s much--it’s much better. I--” Yasha pauses then, not quite knowing what to do when Beau meets her gaze again with that look in her eyes, “Thank you.”

“Yeah man, of course, it’s uh, it’s no problem.” Beau clears her throat a bit before slowly transforming her smile into a smirk, her hand going up to scratch at the back of her neck, “That color looks good on you anyways.” 

Yasha’s mouth opens and closes for a second, unsure how to respond, especially when there are those damn butterflies again. But she doesn’t need to worry about it as Beau has already turned to walk over to the group, hands in her pockets and determinedly not looking at Jester who she can feel smiling at them. 

As Dagen begins to rally everyone to start moving on again, Yasha takes a second and brings her free hand up to slowly rub at the blue material now holding her arm in place. She feels light and happy, and she lets it fill her for a second, before shaking her head. Her feet begin to move her forward of their own accord as she follows the general wash of noise of her family.

She looks up just in time to catch blue eyes on her again and feels the _thump, thump, thump_ beat of her heart in her chest threatening to drown everything else out.

\-------

They only walk for another couple of hours before deciding to make camp, and after the events of the day, Caleb regrettably informs them there will be no tower tonight. Veth and Jester only groan a little while Caleb goes to set up the dome and Fjord begins to build a small campfire with Dagen’s help.

Yasha putters around for a moment before trying to help Caduceus get dinner ready, however with only one arm free she mostly just ends up handing him things. 

Only half listening to the calming rumble of Caduceus’s voice talk of meager provisions and spices, she ends up watching Jester, Beau, and Veth try to clear out the snow for under the dome. It seemed, in the beginning, to be going well, they had organized, divided up the work evenly, and had gotten down to it. However, it was found out that apparently Jester and Veth had instead been building up an artillery and suddenly sprang out from the shadows to bombard an unsuspecting Beauregard. Of course, the lovable show-off that Beau is, she had to catch the first two snowballs, deflecting one back at Jester which nails her right in the shoulder. But Beau doesn’t stand a chance against the onslaught, and there is yelling and laughter that carries itself over on the air. 

A deep chuckle sounds from next to her and she turns to find Caduceus watching the same scene with warmth in his gaze.

“They certainly are quite a bunch, aren’t they?” The plain affection in his voice sets Yasha at ease for some reason, her shoulders relaxing from a small tension she hadn’t realized she was holding. 

“Mm, yes. They certainly are.” Her own smile pressed on her face as she passes him another small jar filled with what looks like crushed herbs of some kind while a couple more soft shouts come from the snowy battle in the distance.

“Y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her lend that sash to anyone before.” His tone was that low, nonchalant note Cad always had, but when Yasha turned her gaze to him she could see the mirth in his eyes as he continued sifting through his spices, “It’s pretty important to her, isn’t it?”

The question was rhetorical, she knew, but Yasha swallowed at the implication of it. The unspoken idea of _‘you must be important to her’_ flutters around like a bird for a moment in the comfortable wake of their silence and it leaves Yasha with a giddy feeling she can’t quite tamp down.

That feeling sits with her all through dinner. It’s there when Caduceus calls everyone to eat and hands out bowls filled with something flavorful and warm. It’s there when Jester and Fjord sit on opposite sides of the fire but still seek each other’s gaze out with a faint blush and a secret smile. When Veth continues to check Caleb over for injuries even after he’s repeated three times how Caduceus had healed him up and he was fine.

It’s there when Beau chooses to sit down next to her. When every so often while Beau is speaking with her whole body, she will just barely brush her shoulder against Yasha’s. It’s there when almost every time something funny or interesting or even mildly amusing is said, Beau looks at Yasha, wanting her reaction, making sure she’s included even when she remains quiet.

One of those moments passes through Yasha that seems to be happening more and more lately. A feeling of belonging, of having a place somewhere, with someone. She feels warm, even amongst this frozen wasteland they seem to have found themselves in. And it’s only when she remembers the ever-looming dark threat hanging over their heads that she looks down towards her feet, exhaling soft but sharp like that will lift the weight of dread in her chest.

“Hey, uh, so how’s your shoulder feeling?” Yasha lifts her gaze back up to rest on Beau, who is watching her with careful eyes.

“Oh, it’s much better. The sling is very helpful.” The way Beau’s grin seems to dance in the firelight sets Yasha’s heart pounding again and she distinctly wonders if Beau can hear it, “Do you need it back or…?” Yasha trails off, slowly reaching her free hand up to try and undo the knot before Beau is shaking her head.

“No, nah, hang on to it as long as you need. Gotta make sure you’re in top fighting shape in case we run into another fucking frost worm or something equally shitty tomorrow.” Beau shrugs and finishes scrapping the bottom of her bowl and Yasha could almost swear she can see blush on her cheeks in the firelight.

“Okay.” Was the only soft response she could give, “I’ll hang on to it.”

“You were pretty awesome today, saved my ass against that stupid giant worm thing. And the way you cut down that big wolf guy without even breaking a sweat??” Beau was miming an imaginary sword hacking an imaginary enemy to pieces in a dramatic reenactment that had Yasha bark out an unexpected laugh.

“Hey!” Veth interjected from across the circle, standing up and shaking her wooden spoon in indignation. “Why aren’t we talking about my amazing final shot I had against that frost worm?? I had the killing blow!”

“Well, I’m not talking about you right now, am I?!” Beau threw her reply back with no hesitation, eyes crinkled with laughter and mischief as her and Veth both began flipping each other off over the flames.

“Alright, come on you two, settle down.” Fjord’s tone was exacerbated, but as Yasha looked over at him, she was a little surprised to see the tender, knowing look on his face as he stared at Beau and Yasha briefly wondered how long he’d been watching.

Eventually the conversation died down and the empty bowls were returned to Caduceus as they all took to rolling out blankets and arranging themselves best they could in the space. Fjord offered to take first watch before anyone had even thought of it, followed by Yasha, and then lastly Caleb and Veth taking up the rear.

Yasha laid on her back, trying not to move too much so the makeshift sling still stayed in place on her chest. Beau bedded down not too far from her, and Yasha found herself longing to reach out and run her fingers over the back of her grey vestments, trace the bright green lines of her tattoo. But they were waiting, so she curled her fingers back in on herself and closed her eyes and tried to calm the beating of her heart and rest.

It must have worked because the next thing she knew, Fjord was gently shaking her awake, an apologetic look on his face. She could feel the warm remnants of some dream she couldn’t quite remember slowly fading as she sat up, a yawn escaping her without thought.

When she finally managed to look over, Fjord was eyeing the sash still around Yasha’s shoulder, albeit a little rumpled and off from her sleep. The knowing look in his eyes made Yasha’s face redden, her gaze dropping over to the dying embers of their campfire, reaching over to stoke them to have something to do.

Before Fjord moved away, he reached out, gently laid a hand on her shoulder and she felt a small and familiar flow of magic through her as the lay on hands trickled through her system.

Fjord went back over to his cleared-out spot between a stretched-out Jester and a snoring Caduceus and shrugged when Yasha looked at him, “I hadn’t used it today, but since I’m about to go to sleep might as well.” His grin was fond as he sat down, but he kept his gaze on the low flames instead of her.

“Oh,” Yasha rolls her shoulder, no pain flairs up this time and she’s almost filled with regret, “Thank you, Fjord. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Don’t mention it.” He’s still grinning with something else written on his face, and now she can feel him watching her, a warm stretch of quiet settles over the camp as their family slumbers around them. Yasha reaches up and almost hesitantly unties the knot Beau had done, pulling the sash down carefully until it’s just resting in her hands.

“I think you’re good for each other.” His voice is soft and considerate over the crackle of the low fire coming back, and she catches his eye again, “You and Beau. She likes you a lot, you know.”

She can feel her heart begin thumping in her chest like a wild thing trying to break free.

“You’ve, uh, so you’ve talked about me? With her?” Yasha tries for that nonchalant tone that Caduceus can do so well, but she knows that’s far from how it comes out.

“Yeah, yeah – nothing intrusive, or anything like that,” He quickly adds on, both of their gazes glancing over at the bundle of grey robes and blankets, “She’s just nervous and excited, and I think she wanted someone to tell.”

There’s something about that, that bubbles up in Yasha’s chest slowly, a smile on her face she doesn’t know how to wipe away. Her fingers start rubbing over the blue material in her hands like they have a mind of their own.

“That’s good, I’m glad.” Her voice is soft as she still gazes at the monk sleeping soundly, before she arches a playful eyebrow and looks back towards the fire, “You know, I’ve heard about that a bit from Jester as well.”

Now it is Yasha’s turn to watch Fjord’s cheeks and ears turn a dark green as she feels something grow and grow inside her chest. She can’t help but chuckle at him as he darts his eyes around anywhere but at her.

“Yeah, well, you,” he clears his throat and starts over, “Yeah, you have?”

Yasha gives him a small nod and a, “Yeah.” And both of their laughs are nervous, but their smiles stay real and whole, “You know she likes you a lot, too.”

“Boy, who’d have ever thought we’d be here, huh?” Fjord is shaking his head lightly and Yasha simply hums in response, both of them just watching the fire come back to life, warming the air around them.

“It’s kinda fun though, isn’t it?” If she didn’t know any better, she’d almost think he sounded a bit shy, “I mean, aside from all the nervousness and the panicking, and all the other shit going on.” He gives a shrug now, a big grin on his face, “It’s kinda fun.”

“Yeah,” Yasha replies, looking down at the blue sash flowing in between her hands, a precious thing, “Yeah it kinda is.”

They smile at each other one last time, something almost a bit conspiring, before Fjord wishes her goodnight and lays down.

The slow flames give a soft yellow glow over the camp, light dancing and playing along the shadows. That giddiness is welling up in her stomach, in her chest, and she briefly has the terrifying thought that this could fill her up. But then she glances around, at all the sleeping bodies tangled around each other, the soft music of her slumbering people washing over her.

People could know. People, her friends, her family, her _tribe_ , they were excited for her. Happy for her.

Yasha glanced down at the sash in her hands again, thumbs rubbing over the material and letting the sensation of the fabric tingle up the palm of her hands. She felt warm and happy, her head light on her shoulders like it might float out of the top of the dome any second. She took a deep breath and as she gazes at the sash, she feels the memories bubbling up to the surface and making her chest feel fizzy.

Beau and her on watch in the Barbed Fields, Beau and her in battle side by side, Beau and her in the bathhouse, in the kitchen at the Xhorhaus caught in the act of late-night snacks, flying around Rumblecusp on new wings with Beau holding tight to her neck, Beau taking her hand outside of Molly’s grave, the surprise in her face when Yasha handed her the letter. Each memory keeps filling her up until she almost doesn’t think she can take it anymore, like her body isn’t a vessel that can contain so much joy at once and she has to do something about it.

Yasha feels like a young girl with a crush and she lets herself revel in it. She is still toying with the blue sash in her hand, and in a quiet moment of unburdened delight, she lifts the sash up to her face, closes her eyes and inhales.

Underneath the smell of smoke and snow, there is the distinct smell of Beau and Yasha breathes it in. She does nothing to quash the butterflies she feels in her chest and her throat and just inhales again instead, a small smile coming up to play over her face.

She feels unapologetic and incredibly warm as she finally pulls the sash away from her face, but still keeps it close. She never thought she would get to feel like this again, and for a moment braces herself against an expected wave of guilt, only to find a rush of gratitude instead.

That light, weightless feeling that comes over her, that has nothing to do with the wings she can now spring from her back, is all she lets herself think about. She lets that feeling carry her through the rest of her watch, and if she brings the sash back to her face a few more times, well, nobody will ever know but her.

**Author's Note:**

> Fic title is a line from the song "Love is Beginning" by Imaginary Future, definitely helped set the vibe and was listened to on repeat while writing
> 
> __
> 
> _"Oh look how the colors are changing  
>  New stars appear in the night sky  
> This heart is starting to come to life"_


End file.
